Of what we want and who we are
by letitbeme.x
Summary: A lonely 19 year old Isabella married an equally lonely 38 year old Edward Cullen. They married for the same reasons but are still married for different ones. When Edward wants to start a family Bella is forced to assess the decisions that she made.
1. Chapter 1

**All recognisable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**In desperation to rid herself of her crippling loneliness Isabella swan accepts an offer off of an older equally lonely Edward Cullen. Now when the husband that she barely knows wants to get to know his young wife and start a family, Bella is forced to reassess the decisions that she made in the past and to make decisions that will affect her future.**

I looked at the empty room, it's still walls and empty spacious floor were silent in their waiting. My feet protested to go into the room and to stand in the middle and let my mind wonder off and to dream, but I didn t want to be sucked into this hopeful space, I didn't want to feel the pressure of what the room expected and what Edward wanted.

My heart crippled with every heart beat as I descended the stares and walked into the kitchen, I was greeted by the rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock. The little traitorous hands raced to reach 5 o'clock. My husband will be home soon, I'm going to have to give my answer soon.

With shaking hands I poured some gin into a small crystal glass, I brought it to my lips and drank it with closed eyes. Savouring the taste as if it would give me courage.

I heard the front door open, it clicked as it closed, keys were dropped into a bowl and shoes were shuffled off, but the sound of my beating heart was prominent in my ears.

"Bella?" Edward called from the hall way he sounded anxious.

My fingers started to play with the gold band on my finger twisting this way and that almost painfully. I took a deep breath.

"In the kitchen." I called back my voice betraying the nervousness I felt.

I looked at my wedding photo that stood centre stage on the kitchen table next to the fruit bowl; my eyes took in the two figures in the silver frame. A slightly bewildered looking nineteen year old dressed in a simple white dress looked back at me her white veil almost forming a cage around her, I could see the unwanted jewels twinkle as they lay on her, she stood at least a foot apart from the smartly dressed smiling 37 year old. The picture looked unbearably awkward, staged.

Blood rushed to my head and pounded behind my eyes, I squeezed them tight to rid myself of the feeling but a stronger pain resonated from my chest.

I heard Edward enter the kitchen; he bent down a kissed me on the cheek. The scent of sandalwood and mint washed over me and twisted my stomach.

"Hi." I said weekly, I couldn t look him in the face; I can't be distracted I need to keep it together.

"Bella?" his voice was worried now, I imagined his eyebrows were knitted together in worry.

Wordlessly he sat opposite me at the table, his handsome face rapidly turning pale. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. His usually bright emerald eyes dimmed as he looked at me.

"Edward I-"

"You've made your decision then." He stated a hundred different emotions playing with his voice. His hands were in front of him they were clenched tightly in anticipation.

I took a deep breath and gave him my answer and therefore changing my life forever.

**Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, should I carry on? **


	2. Chapter 2

**All recognisable characters belong to SM. x**

"I will Facebook you every day! I promise!" Alice squealed as she flung her arms around my neck. The taxi stood waiting behind her the door open. The busy street whistled past us in a flurry of colour and noise oblivious to us.

"Yes you better!" I said back giving her a hug of my own. She drew me back tears shining down her face, her perfectly applied makeup running as well.

I quickly wiped my own tears away and tried to give her a big smile.

"Now are you sure you will be ok?" she asked me her voice shaking

"Of course I will silly! Now go the taxi driver is getting a bit pissed off!" I laughed; she looked at me doubtfully before hugging me once more. She clambered into the taxi as lady like as she could before closing the door behind her.

She put down the window "Love you Bella! See you soon!" and with that she was off town the road in a yellow taxi and away from Seattle. Leaving me on the sidewalk with aching feet and a promise of a hangover.

I took a deep breath and walked away from the bar. Alice, my best friend has just left to New York, we had gone out tonight as a sort of send-off.

Not wanting to go back to an empty flat just yet I made my way to my favourite caf .

The street was quiet as I walked down it, a few cars passed me by but apart from that I was alone. I dug my hands into my pockets and cursed Alice for making me were this silly dress and high heels, it s so cold! And the wind isn't helping any.  
>Street lamps flickered overhead and over flowing dust bins lined the street in places, this my friends is just one of the many alley Seattle has to offer, I really should have gone the safer route. But I never really think before I go head first into anything.<p>

I reached the end of the alley which opened up into a street, I crossed the almost deserted street and breathed a sigh of relief when I walked under the faded red canopy of the cafe de evasion, I could smell the aroma from here. I looked through the cafes window and past the lace curtain round the middle of it to see an almost deserted space; I can't say I'm surprised it is nearly midnight!

I pushed the stiff door open and was immediately encased in a warm yellow light and the suffocating smell of coffee and toast.

"Evening Bella!" Billy called from behind the counter as he began to box up cakes for the day.

Billy was a lovely man, him and my father had been friends since they could crawl so I grew up around Billy and his son Jacob so of course I spent a good amount of time in this little place, it hasn t ever changed even the coffee stains on the tables are familiar.  
>"Evening Bill." I greeted and bent over the counter to give him a hug.<p>

"Good party?" he asked smiling as he saw me hobble over to my usual place, I just waved him off and laughed. I slumped into the cushioned chair, my eyes practically rolled back. I have never been more grateful for this lumpy tattered cushion in all my life.

"You could say that Bill, the heels were Alice's idea!" I groaned as I plied my shoes off and chucked them under the table.  
>"One hot chocolate coming up." Bill said to me as he darted into the back.<p>

I leant back in the chair and closed my eyes. It was then that my heart was struck with small shards of ice.  
>I am alone now, completely and utterly alone. My breath caught in my throat.<p>

Reality swam right back to me through my part intoxicated state, I had just waved goodbye to my last friend.  
>All the other, Angela, mike, Jessica, Seth and Eric had all gone, gone back to their lives in other parts of the country. All had gone back leaving me the last one still here.<p>

I felt an unpleasant feeling sink into my stomach and a lump formed in my throat stopping any air from passing. I quickly gasped which hurt. A lot.

I quickly looked around the coffee to see if anyone had noticed me, everyone had gone everyone except one man who sat hunched shoulders over a two seated table. And he was looking right at me.

I quickly put my head down not wanting anyone to see the tears that I felt forming in my eyes; I tried to breathe slowly to calm myself down.

I looked back up; the man's head was down so all I would see was this beautiful shade of auburn hair, Billy interrupted my staring when he brought me my drink with his customary smile of course.

"Thanks Bill."

"No Probs Bella." He said gently and made his way back to the counter.

Here in my usual place, in the far right nestled in a cosy corner opposite a copy of van Gogh s sunflowers, I looked up at the old cheap copy which was stuck at on odd angle but something about it made me smile. Well usually made me smile.

I felt that niggling feeling of lonely emptiness creep into my bones. I have been dreading this day for so long. When Alice told me she had been offered a place at New York prestigious fashion college I was over joyed for her, truly I was but I knew that as soon as she was gone I would have no one left. She told me she might stay there, it just depended on whether or not she liked the course, if she didn t she said she would be right back with me. All my friends started moving away when we turned 18, they all found their calling I suppose you could say.

I decided to stay here until I could afford to do anything.

I looked around the caf in search of a distraction and my eyes once again rested on the man by the window.  
>At his side lay a rather dishevelled and sad looking bunch of red roses. They looked like they were expensive with the pretty cream floral wrapping and deep red ribbon.<p>

I finished my drink and took it to the counter.

"Bella, could you take this the gentleman by the window please? "Billy asked as he took a box into the back room.  
>"yeh sure." I said, picking up the cup I took a deep breath, a nervous feeling washed over me. I suddenly found myself wanting to meet this man who has fascinated for the past five minutes.<p>

He didn't look up as I walked towards him; he just stared at the table in front of him.

"Here you go." I said softly as I placed the cup in front of him, he suddenly looked up. I stumbled back as intense green eyes looked at me. he was handsome there is no doubt about that, strong jaw line, straight nose and perfect eyes-he was breath-taking, he had the most beautiful colour hair with little flecks of silver at the roots.

He smiled softly, "Thank you." He said and reached for it. I started to walk away when I heard him say.  
>"Sit with me for while?"<p>

Tadaaaa, hope you enjoyed it, please review and tell me what you think. xxx


	3. Chapter 3

**A huge thank you to everyone who has read the previous chapters, I'm so happy all of you are enjoying it, your words of encouragement mean a lot to me so thank you, thank you as well to everyone who has added this little story to their fave/alerts lists xxxxxxxx**

You know one of those moments when goose bumps suddenly and spontaneously appear everywhere? Yeh its strange isn't it, it's even stranger when you get them after a sad but handsome looking man asks you to sit with him.

I turned around almost stiffly, I looked down at the table and his hand as if lay palm up on the table inviting me to sit with him. My eyes went to his face, a half-hearted smile graced his lips, and eyes that no doubt had been bright were now a dull shade of green.

"I... sure." I managed to stumble out. I don t know what pushed me into the chair, was it his handsome face but miserable face or my already growing need for company before loneliness set in?

He seemed to brighten a little when I sat in front of him. A few still seconds passed by until I tried to start a conversation.

"So do you come here very often?" I ask then kicked myself, what sort of question is that? Clich much.

I bowed my head feeling that stupid embarrassed blush make an unwanted appearance.

"Not often, you?" he answered simply, there was I think an undercurrent of hope in his voice but desperation was there too. Was he as desperate to talk to someone as well?

"Yes, actually I have been coming here all of my life." I replied, he looked surprised for a moment His hands shuffled a tea spoon slightly an awkward silence settling between us.

"I haven't seen you here before, do you live here or are just passing?" I asked curiously I tried to sound jolly in an attempt to lighten the mood, surely I would have remembered a face such as his, who could forget a face like that? It would be a crime!

He chuckled slightly and the atmosphere became unstuck, I on the other hand froze at hearing that sound. I mean I've heard people laugh before I mean c'mon I'm a bloody comedian sometimes but the sound of his laughter was something I hadn't heard before. It was deep and husky like it came from deep in the chest, but the sound was tinged with ...resignation?

"Well I just moved here... but whether I will stay here or not is another matter." He muttered casting a fleeting look at the dying flowers at his side. I followed his eyes and a million questions bubbled in my head, who was he going to give the flowers to?

I suddenly hatted my over curious mind, its none of my business who's flowers they would have been. I don't know this man and he doesn't know me, as soon as I walk out of this cafe I won't ever see him again and the discarded flowers will only ever be a sad memory.

"If you get the chance you really should go to the museum of design in Tower Square, I have an exhibition running there at the moment... that is if you decide to stay." My mouth said before consulting with my brain, I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. My excitement bubbling through about my exhibition, my mind is purely promotional at times.

He looked at me then and smiled, this time it was genuine. "You re an artist?" he asked with a curious raise of the eye brows. I laughed at his surprised whilst feeling a little disconcerted.

"Ha! No not an artist, I'm a dress maker. I'm doing a display on historical dress; it's always been a passion of mine." I prattled on forgetting I was talking to a stranger, but when I looked up at him he looked back at me with genuine interest.  
>"Sorry I tend to get carried away." I apologised but he just shook his head smiling.<p>

"No do not apologies about talking about what you love, it's refreshing to hear someone young talk about a passion that is not money or partying." He said sincerely, I blushed at his comment.

I don't have enough money to be passionate about it!

The man leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh, he seemed more at ease now and so did I for that matter. Talking really is the best cure for anything.

This was the first time that I noticed what he was wearing, how I missed the smart suit underneath his grey structured coat is beyond me. He looked like he had been to one of those up town swanky restaurants where they serve morsels of food that wasn't enough to cure a mouse's hunger.

Maybe he was all dressed up for a date? It would explain the flowers...

"I don't know your name." I suddenly blurted out again without thinking.

He seemed taken aback slightly, I don't blame him to be honest, and who goes around asking for strangers names anyway. I do apparently.

But then he surprised me by laughing, this time it didn t sound so sad, I found myself laughing along with him and therefore at myself.

"I see you are the blunt sort, my name is Edward." He said shaking his head in amusement.

"Nice to meet you Edward, I'm Bella." I said sticking out my hand to shake his, he hesitantly did. I noticed just how big his hands were; they practically engulfed my own rather petit one.

_Well you know what they say about men with big hands, wink wink, nudge nudge._ My internal commentary snickered.

_Yeh, they have to buy bigger gloves._ I shot back disgusted at where my thought can sometimes wonder off to. This man is older than me I must be a girl in his eyes for god sake!

With my mind somewhat out of the gutter I focussed on what Edward was saying.  
>"It's nice to meet you too Bella."<p>

"What brings you to this crumble abode? You don't dress up that snazzy just to come to the cafe de evasion." I asked hesitantly my curiosity getting the better of me.

He Stiffened for a moment before sighing heavily and relaxing in to the chair. "I was meeting someone... someone special." Edward answered aversely then scoffed.

I winced at the implications; surely he wasn't stood up on a date? What stupid insane blind woman would do that? Has the world no justice?

"And it didn't go to plan?" I guessed.  
>"You could say that."<p>

"And what about you? Does this place have a night club out the back?" He asked referring to my dress and otherwise dishevelled attire.

I shrunk into my seat embarrassed.

"I as you can see by the stupidly tight dress, ridiculous amount of makeup and blistered feet I was 'out on the town' , my best friend Alice is leaving to go to New York so we had a little celebration and send off." I explained.

He nodded in understanding before stating And that makes you sad.

I nodded and sighed, "Yes unbelievably so. We were close you know, it's going to be difficult without her around, even if she is a pint sized devil with a fondness for Turing people into human dolls."

"It's hard to say goodbye to someone you don't want to go." He said once again looking at the flowers. His words reinforced with experience.

A lump formed in my throat, I swallowed to get rid of it. The mood once again descended, the happy banter soon forgotten.  
>I looked once again at the flowers, "She can't have been that special to let a guy like you down." I stated before realising what I had said.<p>

Edward shook his head and chuckled sadly, "Thanks Bella, if only you were right."

I suddenly felt myself spiralling into a dark pit; the desperation to keep talking took over me.

"Life really is a bitch." I declared, Edward laughed cynically.

"I couldn't have put it better myself." He agreed.

A thought just struck me; it doesn't happen very often so the need to say was very high.

"I have a saying for times like these 'laugh until you cry and cry until you laugh' it's good isn't it." He nodded thoughtfully.

"And if that doesn't work?" he asked entertained.

"Then your fucked to be honest but there is always chocolate, scientifically proven to stimulate happiness." I stated feeling all grown up talking about science.

_And something else ..._ You know who chimed in also referring to a science of sorts.

"Well Bella have you ever considered being a therapist? Your methods are revolutionary!" he joked.

I shook my head "I think you will find I am the one who needs the bloody therapy!" we both laughed at that.

We chatted about pointless things for the sake of keeping a friendly conversation going, I got the feeling he too was trying to keep loneliness at bay.

"Well I'm sorry to say this but it's closing up time now." I sad sadly looking at the clock. And I truly did feel a sense of sadness that was different from any other I had felt, I had enjoyed Edwards Company, any form of company at the moment is most welcomed.

He stood up and did his coat up preparing for the world outside. He looked at me questionably.  
>"Are you not leaving to?" he sounded disappointed.<p>

"I'm going to stay and help Billy clean up for the night." I said indicating with a sweep on my arm the empty mugs and wrappers that lay discarded on the tables.

He nodded his eyes downcast before heading to the door he stopped and turned to me.

"Where exactly is the museum you were talking about?" he asked. There was something about the intensity in which he looked at me that sent tingles up my spine.

"err.. It's the big red building, you really can't miss is." I stuttered, he smiled at me crookedly before leaving. The doorbell rang out through the cafe and echoed it indicated that I had not just imagined him and that he was real and that the loneliness that had receded was coming back

I made my way around the caf picking up litter and taking mugs to the counter in a sort of daze. Before long I came to the table we were sitting at not long ago and noticed that the flowers were still there.

I hesitantly picked up the bouquet of brown roses; the wrapping was scrunched up and slightly ripped around the stems, a small decorative tag attached to the flowers with a red ribbon fluttered to the floor as I walked forward. I picked it up and flipped it over absent minded, there elegantly written were the words "Happy Anniversary!" .

I gasped and dropped the flowers, my heart hammered and cracked. Poor Edward.

My own sadness and building loneliness was nothing compared to the heartbreak Edward was going through. I feel selfish to feel sorry for myself.

I have only known Edward for about half an hour but I think, no I know that he is a decent person I m sure of it. Who could break this man's heart? And what would it take to mend it?

**Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed Here is a little preview of the next chapter which is in Edwards point of view because I'm a happy writer. xxxx**

I looked up at the door when the little bell chimed, in slipped a petit girl. She wobbled slightly as she walked. I nearly leapt out of my seat as she stumbled to the counter I thought she was going to fall face first into the floor. She had her back to me showing me a perfect view of chestnut tresses that fell in soft curls down her back.

After a few friendly words with the owner she stumbled to the back of the cafe , as she passed me I saw in her youthful face a symphony of raging emotions, but the one that truck me was loneliness a look of pure undefeated loneliness.

...


	4. Chapter 4

**All recognisable characters belong to SM. A huge thank you to everyone who has read the previous chapters, I'm so happy all of you are enjoying it, your words of encouragement mean a lot to me so thank you, thank you as well to everyone who has added this little story to their fave/alerts lists xxxxxxxx**

**Edward pov.**

The door clicked loudly behind me, fumbling for the light switch I eventually turned on the light. I needn't have bothered there wasn't much to see in my apartment any more. It seems since the we were at the restaurant and me coming back here _she_ had taken practically everything. Great.

Chucking my coat onto the sofa I made my way to the kitchen passing packed box s and empty spaces. Silence was deafening, Maddening.

I tried to ignore the empty spaces around me and the way very one of my heartbeats seamed to echo off of the bare walls.

But wasn't I used to this? Wasn't this nothingness what usually greeted me when I returned home? Why is it all different now? Because its final, the box's are a full stop to five years of being with another, the empty spaces where once a future was possible are a symbol to a future that is devoid of anything hopeful.

My hands on their own accord poured some scotch into a glass and brought the sharp drink to my all too willing lips. I closed my eyes as the lingering burn consumed my throat.

I ripped a note left on the fridge skimming over the words I barked out a cynical laugh. "_Will be back for the rest soon, Victoria._" I screwed it up and through it in the bin.

My drifted back to being in the cafe and to Bella.

_I looked up at the door when the little bell chimed, in slipped a petit girl. She wobbled slightly as she walked. I nearly leapt out of my seat as she stumbled to the counter I thought she was going to fall face first into the floor. She had her back to me showing me a perfect view of chestnut tresses that fell in soft curls down her back._

_After a few friendly words with the owner she stumbled to the back of the cafe , as she passed me I saw in her youthful face a symphony of raging emotions, but the one that truck me was loneliness a look of pure undefeated loneliness._

She was like a breeze, sudden and unexpected. Even though I didn t care about anything in the world around me I felt my heart go out to her. To see someone young and sad hurt, she shouldn't be sad and lonely, she must only be in her early 20 s. The way she spoke about her interests were refreshing. I saw myself in that young woman, I saw my passion for the creative but what I identified immediately was her crippling loneliness. Was she as susceptible to it as I was?

Her pretty face dragged me out of the hole that I was falling so quickly into I felt like I had been caught before I fell. Bella made me realise that not all people are cold and unfeeling.

I knew she wouldn't be miserable forever there was something about her, a spark in her eye that even though it was only glimmering would soon be a roaring flame. She had something to live for; a route to follow that was endless and full of promise. Me? I m not sure there is anything remotely hopeful for me, I'm 37 newly single I have no children, I live in an apartment, I'm a small time composer. Where do you go at 37? I should have been married years ago; I should have a family by now and a house. We don t always get what we want.

With tiredness scratching at my eyes is went to the bedroom, my bedroom now. Loneliness sang out from the empty bed. I climbed in cringing as the cold sheets bit at my feet, the sheets didn't smell of Victoria, but why should they? They hadn't for weeks.

Maybe there was a way to save yourself from loneliness before it completely consumed you. Why should I wallow in self pity, I saw this coming the signs had been there for a long time.

I willed sleep to come, I have somewhere to be tomorrow and I don t want to be late. With the closing of a day is the promise of a new one.

**Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it, sorry it was a bit short but there will be more next time on one condition and you know what that is...xxxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

All** recognisable characters belong to SM. A huge thank you to everyone who has read the previous chapters, I'm so happy all of you are enjoying it, your words of encouragement mean a lot to me so thank you, thank you as well to everyone who has added this little story to their fave/alerts lists xxxxxxxx**

I have always been told to never get my hopes up too high because if I did the disappointment that I might feel would be worse. Well I wished I had listened to that little nugget of advice, but I felt so hopeful and certain that my display would gain enough popularity. How wrong I was.

I sat, like I had for the past hours, on an uncomfortable stool in the centre of my display. The museum was quiet with barely anybody entering through the large glass doors. It had been like a dessert waste land all morning; my spirits were in the gutter and were slowly being eaten away.

I had come here at 6;30 this morning, spent hours setting up my display which was no easy task I had to single headedly dress all these mannequins with heavy and complicated dresses it s not easy putting a corset on an inanimate object.

I was full of caffeine and motivation at 6:30 but at 4:00 that enthusiasm had long gone. Disappointment sank low in my stomach. I had worked so hard on this display all those hours locked up in my room sewing and cutting out fabric and money oh god the amount of money I have spent! I won t be able to eat properly for weeks!

I need this display to gain enough recognition and funding so that i can go carry on in collage and get my degree. It doesn't look very hopeful at the moment.

Isn't it at times like these that people look to the heavens and beg for a sign or someone to save them? Might as well give it a go.

With no immediate miracle I got down from my stool and went and hid round one of the display boreds were I have my secret and much needed stash of chocolate and my cheesy romance novel. With no promise of a fruitful day I'm just going to sulk and wallow in this corner.

"Bella?" someone called I jumped up from the floor, I dusted myself down took a deep breath and went to face who was calling me.

There standing in front of an Edwardian wedding dress was a sheepish looking Edward. My heart stopped for a moment. He remembered? Wow. His handsome face contorted in amazement and his gentle fingers skimmed to lace detail on the bodice of the dress.

I felt blood pulse to my cheeks; maybe I should turn back and pretend I'm not here.  
>Slowly I walked towards him preparing my mind to sound professional and not like a little school girl.<br>"Hello. "I said his face shot up, he withdrew his hand quickly. He cleared his throat.  
>"Hi." He said rather gruffly.<p>

"You remembered." The words rushed out before I could stop them, Edward chuckled.

"Yes, I thought I would drop in and se- and take a look." He said a blush inking onto his chiselled cheeks.

"Your work is beautiful, you have an amazing talent." He said, his eyes took an appraising sweep of the display.

Wow, is this guy real? I mean what guy _willingly_ comes to see something that is even remotely related to dresses or clothing in general? Maybe this is the sign I was waiting for that not all men are interested in one thing.

"I-err thank you." I stuttered.

I noticed that he had a nice suit on, he looked quite the gentleman I must say, in fact he could play Mr Darcy to my Elizabeth Bennet dress at the back.

"Did you get all dressed up for this?" I said jokingly referring to his attire. He barked out a laugh.

"I'm afraid not, I was going to work but-." He replied but stopped himself abruptly, his eye brows crunching together.

"But?" I pushed; he sighed then laughed quietly shaking his head.

What? I am intrigued to know.

"I decided to take a break and have the day off. "He said a coy smile playing at his lips.

I gave him an improvised tour of my display, what surprised me was that he took a genuine interest in everything I had to say. I felt for the first time an odd feeling of sassiness as I spoke about things i knew of, I felt older. I was showing off I admit that but it felt good.

"Have many people came in?" he asked me.

"No, a few here and there but they were mainly asking for directions to the toilet or asking when the cafe was open." I replied blandly and slightly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry to hear that, they don't know what they are missing."

" Thanks."

Edward looked at his watch then around him. "Do you fancy joining me for a coffee?" he asked a shy but crooked smile on his face. I froze for a moment, and one thought ran around my head screaming _did he just ask me out for a coffee?_  
>"I-err yes." I stammered, his face lit up I couldn't help but smile at him.<p>

I had to keep reminding myself that i shouldn't be attracted to him, he is allot more mature than me, older he probably doesn't want to have girl with him But attraction is attraction and who could blame me?

I went to pack up my stuff but just as I about to zip up my back I turned to Edward and him pick up one of the flyers I had made and discreetly folded it and slipped it into his pocket.

The cafe was busy with people walking in and out of the door like coffee was going out of stock. I sipped on my hot chocolate trying to act sophisticated but only succeeded in being silly, Edward didn't seem to notice though.

Thank you for rescuing me, I was getting pretty lonely and depressed all on my own. I thanked him as he took a bite of his Panini.

"Well I couldn't not come and have a look; the way you talked about your display was too alluring to miss." He chuckled. I blushed at his words my heart picked up a notch.

I suddenly felt ashamed, I was attracted to this man, this man i don't actually know who is older and way more mature than me. But who wouldn't be attracted to him? He was soulful and from what I have gathered he was a gentleman.

The sad glint that was in his eyes the last time I saw him wasn't as bright as it had been and that made me happy. How could I be happy that some one I barely know is happy?

"So how haa it been since yesterday?" I asked him, he stiffened slightly then relaxed.

"It's been difficult." He answered rather cryptically his eyebrows knitted tightly together.

My heart panged for him. It seems we both had difficult nights. I barely slept last night; I left the television on because I couldn't bear the silence but it didn't help. I hadn't slept in a house on my own for a long time and i didn t like it one bit.

"I know how you feel." I mumbled, Edward raised his eyebrows and looked at me questionably.

"It was my first night without my flat mate, it was kind of lonely." I admitted.

"You see I'm used to that, the sleeping alone." He said smiling sadly.

My hand acted on its own as it reached across the table and gripped his, "I'm a good listener if you need to chat about it." I said giving him a smile which he returned this time it was a happy one.

"You're a jack of all trades Bella, you make dresses give advice and you are a therapist!" he laughed, he took my hand in both of his. His warmth seeped up my arm and sizzled, I gasped before quickly retrieving my hand. The fleeting look of sadness in Edwards s eyes was too powerful to ignore, he put his hand under the table.

"You know what I do, so what do you do for a living?" I asked him before quickly adding "Don't worry this isn't 20 questions, that game is so over rated."

"I'm a composer for theatre productions." He said reluctantly looking down at the table in what I assume was embarrassment, but I could see a rueful look on his face.

"What instrument do you specialise in?"

"Piano. I should play for you sometime, return the favour." He said.

"Yes, I would like that."

Like last night we talked about random nothingness for hours, the sun set and the business slowed down until only a few people remained.

"How are you getting home?" Edward asked me concerned.

"The bus." I replied. I don't have a car, Alice had a car so she drove me places if I needed a lift. But now that she is gone it is the bus for me.

He looked shocked for a moment. "I will give you a lift." He said as he put his coat on, there was no room for argument. He s giving me a lift home it seems.

I didn't need to go back to the museum; my display is going to be there all week so I wasn t going to turn down a lift.

I expected Edward to have a Mercedes or a Bentley, he seemed like the type to have one if you know what I mean. But no I was wrong, there waiting on the curb was a silver Volvo, noting flashy or posh.

"Can you give me directions?" he asked me once we got in, I nodded. I took a deep breath and inhaled the most mouth-watering scent ever. It was warm and musky with a pinch of sandalwood. It was totally Edward.

Before long we had pulled up outside my flat. Edward looked slightly shocked to see where I lived. It was a modest small apartment block, I admit that it needed a good lick of paint here and there (Well everywhere but that's beside the point) and maybe a new front door...the list goes one.

He cut off the engine, the car went quiet, and everything was still. I gripped the door handle my hand vibrating with tension.

"Thank you Edward I had a lovely afternoon and thank you for the hot chocolate." I thanked him.

"It's no problem, it was my pleasure. Thank you for showing me your work." He thanked and flashed me a smile, it didn't reach his eyes.

I stepped out of the car and closed the door behind me, the car engine didn't start. I started to walk away a sick feeling in my stomach.

_Oh fuck it_. I thought.

I turned around tapped on the window, he wound it down. I leant in.

"Do you want to come in?" I asked him my heart stammering out of my mouth.

**Oooh what will he say? Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it, I know not much happened but trust me once the story has gained memento you won t want to move from your computer screen, ok maybe that was a slight exaggeration and i am biased but stay with me. Review xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**All recognisable characters belong to SM. A huge thank you to everyone who has read the previous chapters, I'm so happy all of you are enjoying it, your words of encouragement mean a lot to me so thank you, thank you as well to everyone who has added this little story to their fave/alerts lists xxxxxxxx**

I said yes.

Just like that.

I didn t think.

And I didn't particularly care.

Bella looked surprised but smiled anyway. That seemed to be her way.

I don't think I have actually used my brain today. I just woke up, got dressed, did nothing then went to the museum. I just felt like I should be there, that I had to be there. A desperation I hadn t felt before threw me out of bed and drive me to the obscure red building.

Bella walked ahead of me and lead me to her flat.

It was a small place with a high ceiling and white walls. It wasn't messy but looked well lived in.

"Anything that is pink and fluffy is not mine!" she shouted from the kitchen over the clinking of wine glasses.

I laughed, of course she didn't seem like the kind of girl to be obsessed with everything pink, she seemed to me to be a more earthly person but then again I may be surprised I have been so far.

Books were littered around the room some open and others with multi-coloured sticky notes marking pages throughout the closed book. I peeked over at one that was at the foot of the coffee table. The paper cover was slightly ripped at the ends and a large mirrored cup stain marked the middle of it, the title read Northanger abbey.

"You like classics?" I asked her as she entered the room two wine glasses with her.

"Yes." She answered sheepishly before she placed the glasses onto the small table the red contents sloshed against the sides slightly.  
>Bella took a seat opposite me on a large brown bean bag.<p>

"You have a lovely flat." I complimented taking in the mix and match d cor. She laughed and reached for her wine. She took a sip before saying.

"Hehe! It s definitely...different I'll give it that. Alice and I couldn't agree on how to decorate the place, so we just brought our own things and filled the flat with them in the hope to dispel each others stuff. And as you can see we only succeeded in making the place look like a flea market in the 60's."

I couldn't help but laugh at her, she was right though. I would call the place artistic, what with all the sketch books and heaps of fabric around the room. Bella suddenly stands up.

"Oh my god I'm such a bad host, you still have your coat on! Here let me take it." She said offering me her hand to place it in.

I shrug it off and give it to her; she flits across the room and hooks it onto an old hat stand in the corner of the room by a small wooden table.

"You know I don't usually do this." She stated.

"What?"

"Invite strangers into my house at night." She chuckled.

"Im glad to hear it." I said. There was something that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge at the thought of Bella being alone with strangers in her flat. I don't know why and I can't explain it but that was how I felt. Stupid and irrational.

"So stranger, you know where I live what about you?" She surprised me by asking.

I felt reluctant to answer her I didn't want to sound patronizing when I said I have an uptown apartment with separate rooms and all the unnecessary mod-cons you could need.

"I have an apartment also, near the city centre, do you know Court Avenue?"

"Yes... "she answered wearily twigging onto to where I was going.

"Well I live there." I said, for the first time in forever I felt sort of ashamed to admit that i live there, when once I would happily let my address roll off of my tongue and eagerly await the jealous looks I would receive. But now it meant nothing, I'm not sure whether it has ever meant anything and that where I lived was just an allusion to cover what I wanted up.

"Do I heck! That's like this cities tinsel town! You seriously live there? Wow!" She said in a mixture of amazement and disbelief I laughed at her enthusiasm.

"You sound surprised?"

She blushed and shifted in her seat uncomfortably, "It's just you-you seem the artistic type...I thought you would live in a studio type thing, you know with a piano taking centre stage. Old music books around the place...sorry I'm rambling again, all those classic romance novels seem to have gone to my head." She said apologetically that sweet rosy blush once again staining her cheeks.

"No Victoria didn't like such Nonsense ..." the words flew out without me thinking, my eyes widened in shock, I opened my mouth to back track but Bella spoke.

"Well no offense or anything but she sounds a bit of a bore, music isn't 'nonsense' it's an art form!" she exclaimed disbelief written across her face.

I didn't feel the least bit offended, she had spoken the thought that had subconsciously plagued my mind for five years. You know what, yes she was a bit of a bore.

"You might very well be right." I laughed. It felt good to laugh, to really laugh without leaving a bitter after taste. I didn't feel bitter about finding the humour in my ex, because it was all true of course. What was it that Bella told me, oh yes "Laugh until you cry and cry until you cry".

I noticed there was a distinct lack of anything male in the room which for some reason lead to the thought that perhaps Bella has a boyfriend or even a fiance struck me like a wrecking ball of ice. How could I have been so stupid to think she didn t!

"Edward, are you ok?" A sweet concerned voice drew me out of my little hole of despair.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and blinked.

"I err yes I am." I said, she looked at me unsure but then took another sip from her glass.

"So Bella, do you have a special someone?" I asked then mentally slapped myself special someone? How old do I sound!

Bella looked down slightly and shook her head, a fleeting look of sadness then resignation. My heart scrunched up at seeing that, how was it possible that a beautiful sweet girl such as Bella not be in a relationship? Had she been unlucky in love and been hurt? She wouldn t be the only one in the world but it seemed like a crime above all others that she might have experienced that.

She quickly downed the rest of her wine, "There was someone a while ago, but fate is a fickle mistress." She laughed quietly; there was no humour behind it though.

She couldn't have been more right; fate as some would call it only seemed to want to piss me off and to throw indescribable obstacles in my path.

I noticed a silver picture frame on the wall next to use. Bella noticed me looking at it.

"That's my mother." She said

"Does she live near?"

She stiffened for a moment before shaking her head sadly, "No she moved to Florida about a year ago." She tried to make her voice sound calm but I could sense the sadness there, she obviously missed her mother.

"My parents live not far; sometimes I wish my mother would move far away." Bella gave me a questioning look.

"Yes, I have one of _those_ mothers." I confirmed, she chuckled then looked back at the photo a longing sigh escaping her.

They looked alike, Bella and her mother, same chin and soft features but what difference I did see was in the eyes, this older woman's eyes shone and sparkled as if they were laughing happily.

"Listen I know we have only known each other for about 74 hours, but I think we should be friends." Bella suddenly declared turning to me.

" Friends?" I asked her surprised I could feel a smile grow on my face.

"Yes friends, look, you seem like you need a friend and god knows I need a friend. You gotta have friends right?"

"Are you sure you aren't drunk?" I asked eying her sceptically, she sounded sincere even if a little tipsy.

"Me drunk? Nah, you couldn't get a Chihuahua pissed on this stuff!" her speech was only slightly slurred.

She has to be drunk. But she wasn't.

"Ok then, friends." As silly as it sounded it felt nice to say it. We shook hands and laughed.

"Here let me take your glass." She said getting up from her seat, I hadn't realised I had finished it, time really does fly by.

I watched Bella as she walked into the kitchen, her hips swayed to an unknown rhythm. I quickly shook my head, what am I thinking? I have just met this _girl_, yes that right _girl_. I'm an old man and she is a _girl._

A clock somewhere in the room tolled midnight. I had to go home, real life starts in the morning which means a nine o'clock start.

Bella lead me to the door.

"Well I guess this is goodnight." She said sleep invading her soft voice. Her small frame swayed slightly making her grip the door frame; a small blush framed her cheeks.

"Good night Bella, now go to bed, you're dead on your feet." I chided her gently.

She weekly slapped my arm "I'm an artist, I suffer for my art." She replied with joke indignation.

She leant up, balancing on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek lightly. I froze and stopped breathing. That small insignificant gesture seemed to me, a hundred times bigger than it was.

I walked away from her flat in a sort of daze, whether it was from the wine or from the unusual creature that was Bella I didn t know, but what I did know was that the cold wind and empty night didn t seem so cold and empty anymore.

Life it seems is full of surprises and I might just have met one.

**N'aaaw don't you just love making new friends, especially when they are called Edward Cullen! Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it, sorry it was a bit short but there will be more next time on one condition and you know what that .xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**All recognisable characters belong to SM. A huge thank you to everyone who has read the previous chapters, I'm so happy all of you are enjoying it, your words of encouragement mean a lot to me so thank you, thank you as well to everyone who has added this little story to their fave/alerts lists xxxxxxxx**

And so world war three begun at 10:30, location: my head.

I've never considered myself a drinker, to be honest apart from cider and the odd shandy I never drink...well apart from hat sneaky vodka and coke after graduation, but that's a whole new chapter...no that's a whole new book.

As I dragged my sleepy and lead like body to the kitchen I tried to sift through the haziness that clouded my brain.

I was sure yesterday was a dream, an unexpected and utterly perfect dream. Had Edward really saved me from the embarrassment of my failed display? Had we really shared a bottle of wine? did i really invite him to my flat!

The past couple of days really have been...different, a good different.

I liked him, which surprised me. I don't take to strangers very well, I never have. I have always been comfortable with what I know; the unknown scares the shit out of me. But not Edward, no he didn't scare me. There was something about him that was comforting and safe, kind of like an old pair of slippers but sexy. Sexy? Where the hell did that come from?

I have never known how to be around men, I'm the awkward says-whatever-comes-to-mind type of girl when I'm around men. It's best to say my love life has been...interesting. I suppose most of the male species think I'm boring; I'm not that out going or fun to be honest. I prefer to be at home in the evening than out partying and pickling my liver.

And that's partly why I brought out the wine, I wanted to seem more sophisticated and mature than I actually was. But I think I probably made more of a fool of myself.

I wasn't drunk when I asked him to be friends, and I don't feel bad about it either, I mean it wasn't like I asked him to marry me, it was perfectly innocent.

Why shouldn't I be friends with Edward? He may be older than me but that shouldn t matter when it comes to friendship. Asides from him being beyond good-looking he was good inside as well. I could tell he was a man who was deeply yearning for something, company, companionship...and love. There was sadness and longing in his voice and reassignment.

He came to my display, surely that should say something about him.

When I finally made it to the kitchen I made myself something that resembled breakfast and a jug sized coffee.

It was then that I caught sight of the calendar hanging haphazardly on the fridge; one date stood out and flashed at me. Three thick lines underlines the 25th October followed by a sad face. Shit my mother's coming next week!

This isn't something you should ever forget! I need a week to prepare for the thunder storm that is Renee Dwyer: aka The Mother.

The little drum in my head picked up its pace a thought of ringing her to confirm that she was still coming. I don't know why I should bother; she usually cancels around about now. Last time she was supposed to visit she had fallen down the stairs and had hurt her ankle meaning she couldn't fly. The time before last she had the flu and didn't think she would be well enough blah blah blah.

You know sometimes I feel as if I had "It's ok, don't worry, I enjoy disappointment!" written in black marker pen on my forehead.

I did something a little bit naughty last night, just a little bit naughty. I slipped my phone number into Edwards coat pocket! Naughty Bella, how very sneaky of you.

Deciding to not delay the inevitable I picked up the phone and dialled my mum's number.

I waited, my stomach twisted in the familiar feeling of anxiety. The phone rang and rang for what felt like hours.

_Maybe she s out?_

_Lost her phone? Yes that s probably it..._

"Hello? Renee Dwyer speaking." a friendly voiced said.

"Hi mom, it's Bella." I replied, the phone was silent for a second, the sound of shuffling feet could be heard over the distant hum of music.

"Bella! It's good to hear your voice, how are you?" my mum asked, she sounded uneasy, nervous even, under her illusion of cheerfulness.

I took a deep breath and answered.

"I'm ok mum. Are you still coming next week? I just wanted to check now so that I can get some food in in time." I tried to keep my voice calm and as neutral as possible.

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry Bella; I can't make it this time. Phil's got an important game and I want to be there for him, you know to cheer him on and all that. Send my sorry to Alice as well." She said her voice apologetic but transparent.

I felt a small blow to my chest.

"Mum, Alice moved to New York for college the other day, I told you... " I told her my voice cracked slightly; I coughed to cover it up.

Another pause.

"Oh...yes of course you did love." Came her reply.

I was about to ask her when she like to rearrange her visit but she spoke before I got the chance.

"Well I've got to go now Bella, speak to you soon!" she said quickly her cheerful tone forced.

And so the call was over before it really began, and that's how our phone calls are. I suppose she is just busy, she has a boyfriend who takes up most of her time.

I wiped away a silly tear as it trickled pathetically down my cheek. I couldn't help but feel the disappointment sink in once again, I should be used to this but it still hurts each time she does this.

I put the phone down and went back to my breakfast, my appetite nonexistent.

I missed my mum; I missed the one in the picture. She's changed. But now is not the time to wallow and cry about it, I've got to do what I always do and pick myself up and carry on.

Just then the phone rang, begrudgingly I picked it. I didn't bother saying hell because I m going to sound a mess if I tried.

"Bella?"

"Oh god I know that velvety rich utterly delectable voice. But why did he have to call now?"

Maybe if I say I have a cold and he won't think I m crying?

"Hello?" I said sniffing slightly trying to keep the lump in my throat from strangling me.

"Bella? Are you ok?" he sounded concerned.

"Y-yes I am. I take it you found my number?" I asked trying to sound light a cheerful.

He let out a short laugh.

"Yes I did thanks for that. Right I'm just going to come out and say this, you can say no and tell me to go away and to stop trying to rob from the cradle but do you want to join me for dinner tonight at the _'Twilight Bluebell'_, 8 o clock?" his voice was soft but nervous.

I stopped breathing for a second.

"Bella? Are you still there?" he asked slightly panicked.

I answered before thinking "Hell yes."

**Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it,review review review xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**All recognisable characters belong to SM. A huge thank you to everyone who has read the previous chapters, I'm so happy all of you are enjoying it, your words of encouragement mean a lot to me so thank you, thank you as well to everyone who has added this little story to their fave/alerts lists xxxxxxxx**

I'm a broken doll, and you're the puppeteer  
>Take control of me, and wipe away my fears<br>-Broken Doll by Paloma faith.

This is odd, a good odd but odd all the same. The last few days have been utterly completely and pleasingly odd. I am thinking of renaming Edward Mr. Fantastic timing, because whenever I'm in need of saving he turns up like superman, minus the cape and tights...isn't that an interesting thought...

I don't really know what I'm doing, men don't ask me to go to dinner with them, make dinner for them sure but never to go out with them.

So as I zipped up the back of my simple black knee length dress I felt the excitement build and a little giggle escaped me. I was going to dinner with Edward! And queue the teenage girl giggling.

But what _was_ going to dinner with Edward? Was it a friendly meal between two friends? Was it a _date?_

But if this was a date then that would make me the "rebound girl". I don't under any circumstances ever want to be the rebound girl; I don't care how good lucking Edward Cullen is.

I looked at my watch and made a hasty dash for the door.

I waited under the bleu glow of the restaurants awning, the atmospheric chatter from inside spilling under the large golden doors and into the tidy street around me. My feet were beginning to ache with indecisiveness.

Should I go in and risk looking like a complete idiot trying to look for him? Or should I wait for him to find me and freeze to death?

I think I'll wait. I'd takes hyperthermia over humiliation any day.

The doors suddenly opened allowing a warm flood of air to hit the back of my legs.

"Bella?" some said behind me startling me, I turned around.

"What are you doing waiting outside?" he asked chuckling walking towards me; I noticed the way his eyes widened as he took in my appearance.

I looked down slightly self conscious.

"I...hi?" I managed to say.

"Y-you look amazing." He breathed, I blushed.

It was then that I fully appraised his appearance and boy does he scrub up well. He was wearing the sexiest slate grey suit with a slim black tie, designer I bet. _Thank you Armani you god!_

"C'mon, let's get inside its bloody freezing!" I said going to open the door but like the gentleman he was dressed to be Edward beet me to it.

"Ladies first." He declared.

"Ha! If only."

A smart blank faced butler lead us to a table at the other end of the restaurant; it was a semi separate part of the large room with fewer tables.

Edward held my chair out for me as I sat down. I could get used to this being treated like a lady business.

I took a look around the place, it was beautiful and so unlike anything I had ever been in before. The lights were dimmed but the chandelier like lights still sparkled magnificently sending little spectrums of light into each corner of the room. Handsome nicely dressed people chatted and sipped from elegant wine glasses, crisply dressed waiters and waitresses danced about the room carrying large trays of mouth-watering delicacies like a finely tuned juggling act. It was magical.

"It's a great place isn't it?" Edward said interrupted my ogling.

"It certainly is." I breathed.

"Shall we order?" he suggested opening his menu, I did the same.

"How have you been Bella? You sounded upset on the phone." he asked looking up from the menu.

He doesn't forget a thing does he.

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, I didn't really want to talk about it, I don't want to ruin a perfectly good evening I won't let _her_ ruin it.

"I'm ok, I was just watching a sad film, I'm a bit of a baby like that, I need therapy after Titanic!" I said the words rolling of my tongue in an easy lie.

The way his eyebrows knitted together showed that he didn't believe me but he didn't press the subject any further.

We ordered our meals then made small talk. I was really enjoying being here with Edward; it felt so easy to just be here and to talk.

"I told my cousin about your beautiful display and she was wondering if you would be interesting in making her an evening gown-for whatever price you are willing to charge of course and she would be very happy to pay it." Edward surprised me by saying.

I was speechless; nobody has ever asked me to make them things before.

"Y-yes of course I will, I will have to meet her to get measurements and details and such but yes of course I will. Thank you for telling her about my display!" I felt a rush of gratitude; I felt a large smile forming on my face. If we weren't in such polite society I would have leaped over the table and hugged him!

"It's no problem Bella, i'd do anything to stop a talent such as yours go to waste." His voice was serious; the intensity in his green eyes was hard to miss. I was sure the blush came back.

"So Edward, tell me about your family." I asked him as we ate our main meal, he paled slightly.

"Well my mother is a flouriest and my father is a doctor. My mother is slightly...overbearing, she means well and everything and I love her but she just has so much love and me being her only child gets most of it forced upon me. My father is quiet but has his own quirks; he is a very nice and caring man." He said smiling when he talked about his father, suddenly the cringing feeling of jealousy crept up my spine.

"They sound lovely, my dad's a prick." I commented, Edward chocked slightly on his red wine the look of surprise sweeping across his face.

"What? It's the truth." I said defending myself, his shocked expression soon turned into an amused one.

"You sure don't sugar coat things do you." He stated chuckling quietly.

The conversation took an unexpected and utterly cliche turn.

"What do you look for in a partner then Bella? This will be interesting to hear what with you not sugar coating things." Edward surprised me by saying, humour dancing in his eyes.

"Well, I don't really have a type to be honest, as long as they are human and have a pulse I'm not that fussed. But I do have two requirements; they have to have a good sense of humour and a fondness for chocolate cake." I replied shrugging.

I'm not going to lie, they don't have to be human, I've heard vampires are a hot commodity at the moment...

He nodded laughing looking at me softly.

"May I take your dessert order?" a waiter interrupted.

"The lady will have chocolate praline gateaux and so will I-with extra chocolate sauce. He said meeting my eyes.

I swear my mouth was resting on my shoes. well that was a bit cheeky!

He really doesn't miss a thing.

I fiddle nervously with the expertly folded napkin, blood rushed to my head, my breath catching in my throat.

"Bella? Are you ok, you seem nervous?" Edward asked his eye brows knitted in concern.

Oh hell, why not shoot the elephant in the room.

"I'm just... "I started but the words ran away.

"Please Bella tell me, am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked softly.

I felt my stomach knot uncomfortably as his gentle eyes encouraged me to speak my mind.

"No... Not really, its just I've been thinking and I can't seem to make sense of this." I started my heart kicking up a fuss.

"This?" he questioned quietly.

"Edward please do not be offended, I might have gotten the wrong end of the stick or I might be over analysing this but what is this? Is this a date because if it is then that would make me the "rebound girl", Edward I'm not the right girl to be that." All my thought just seemed to rush out in one shaky breath.

I didn't look up from the table cloth; I didn't know what expression I would find if I did. Would he be angry at me for suggesting such a thing or worse would he laugh at me and call me a silly girl, because I sure felt like one.

A large hand reached out to mine and softly lay on top of it.

"Bella, you could never be a rebound because there is nothing to rebound from, you are here becasue I wanted to spend time with you and nobody else."

**And let's all say awwwwwww**

**Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it.**  
><strong>A little note on updates, I don t actually have a day when I am updating, I will post a new chapter when I have time (which is not nearly as much as I wished I had) I will try to get them out more regularly but real life is a bit of a bugger and time stealer, so thank you so much for staying with me your encouragement mean a lot to me. xxxxx review review<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**All recognisable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. x Hiii, so sorry for the delay I had a bad case of writers block but I'm back. Hope you enjoy the chapter and thank you for staying with me. Lily xxx**

Edward point of view.

I had ordered the bill a moment ago; Bella was still scowling at me after I refused to accept her half of the money to put in the bill.

"You know I have money of my own." she said begrudgingly glaring at her wine glass. I just laughed at her, she was like an angry angel but she was too adorable to actually play angry properly.

I couldn't help but notice the way she shifted uncomfortably in her seat as if the red velvet was actually burning red coals.

We finished the meal differently to how we started it, we kept our conversation on mundane things, and Bella kept her eyes on everything but me.

I felt my stomach sink even further.

I wanted to ask her what she was thinking.

Once outside we said an awkward good bye and Bella called for a taxi.

I started to walk away, afraid that if I let myself talk anymore I would send her running for the hills.

"Edward!" someone called.

I turned around to see Bella running towards me, she ran into me before she had chance to stop herself.

I looked down at her surprised and slightly winded.

She mumbled some incoherent words blushing a luminescent red before taking a deep breath.

"Edward can..i have y-your number?" she gushed the words out fast before looking away.

"yes. I said not sure where my voice had come from.

I felt the worry that had been expanding just fizzle out and evaporate into the cold night s sky.

I laughed out loud making Bella jump.

"Edward? Are you ok?" Bella asked me uncertain, her eyes scanning my face.

I decided then and there to come clean and to be completely honest with her. I truly feel like I can bear my soul to this remarkable young woman.

"Bella, I was so worried that I had scared you away that it was all too much too soon." The words just fell out of my mouth out of my mouth in my relief fuelled desperation to explain my feelings too her

She just stood in front of me, a small smile gracing her lips. Gently she rested on of her figures on my lips. My incoherent words stopped.

"Edward, I like you, you are different to anyone I have ever met. I want to keep seeing you, but I can't help but feel you aren't ready for someone new in your life..."

"Bella, I have been ready to move on for so long, the very thing I need in my life is you and I will be whatever you want me to be." I said holding her small hand in mine. Its feather weight lightness fitting perfectly in mine.

I could hear her breathing heavily, as was I.

"Then if you are sure I want to see you again..." She trailed off.

"Then will you go on a date with me?" I asked, she gasped and was silent for a moment.

I could hear the ticking hands of my watch.

"Yes... wow a date, I didn't know those things actually existed, well for me they don't anyway." She muttered in disbelief.

I was struck by her innocence but then a little feeling of pride arose in me. She was going on a date with me!

"Well then miss swan allow me to take you on many dates to make up for it. I promise." I said she smiled brightly and chuckled quietly.

Time stilled as Bella, gently reaching up on her tiptoes kissed me softly on the cheek. As she leant away her cheeks were a flamed with red but her eyes was alive and glowing.

A Taxi pulled up outside the restaurant and waited for Bella, she looked at it, sighed and turned back to me.

"Well this is goodnight Edward." She said pulling her coat tighter around her flicking her hair out of the collar.

"Yes, what was that line Shakespeare wrote, oh yes, parting is such sweet sorrow." I said laughing.

"Because that isn't cheesy one little bit!" Bella laughed.

"Well Romeo, I really must go. Its 12 o'clock which means it's well past my bedtime! she said before climbing into the cab.

I stayed by the curb for a moment just absorbing everything that had happened.

After a slow drive home I arrived at my place and for once I wasn't dreading to look at the boxes that where probably still there awaiting my arrival.

I didn't want to go home. I felt like I did when I was five and my mum came to pick me up from Emmett Mcarthy's house, I just didn't want to go home, I didn't want to do my homework I just wanted to play. But now the feeling was different, I wasn't going home to homework I was going home to full boxes that were still there. When I was with Bella I was in another world, a nicer world full of hope and as cheesy and corny as it all sounds I really desperately wanted to stay in the little world of just Bella and me.

Once I opened the door I kicked of my shoes and switched on the lights.

"Edward?" someone asked from behind me.

**Oooh a cliff-hanger!**  
><strong>Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Again sorry for the delay, more soon . review! xxxx<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing, wished I did (Well just Edward) but I don t.**

**Sooooo sorry for the later update, exams took over my life for a while and I wasn t able to write but I m back and I want to thank you for sticking with me. xxxx**

Edwards pov.

"Edward?"

I stared in shock at the woman in the middle of my living room; she put down the boxes she was holding all the time keeping her cold gaze on me.

The air froze and remained still; my brain struggled to make sense of what my eyes saw.

"Kate? What are you doing here?" I was confused; there was ice in my voice that I wasn't certain I was capable of producing.

"Hi Edward." She said her tone matching mine. She turned back around as if I wasn t there and is if she wasn t standing in the middle of my flat.

"Vicky asked me to get some of her things." Was all she said, her eyes challenged me to say something.

Anger sizzled and fought against me to lash out and say the words I desperately wanted to say, no I will not let my anger get the better of me, because if I did we all know who will be the winner in this case.

Kate was victoria's best friend, messenger and devil's advocate you could say.

I didn't want to move from my spot afraid of what I might say if I were to move any closer to her.

I could smell her perfume from here; it was too much like victoria's that it made my stomach twist painfully.

I threw my coat onto the sofa and my keys followed it landing in a dimmed clunk. I tried to remain calm and unfazed. I thought of Bella and her smile and it did the job I took a deep breath and I could smell a small remains of her strawberry perfume on my suit jacket.

Why hasn t she come to get them herself? There her things. I asked making my way to the kitchen eying the jar that held the essentials money and calculated the possibility of it now being empty. I wasn't upset just angry, is she such a coward that she cannot even come and get her own things? Pathetic.

_She's only a cowered if she's hiding something_, my mind grumbled.

She couldn't have been afraid of me or of what I might do, in fact I would gladly help her pack her own things, besides I did pay for most of them I would like to be assured they are packed away safely...

"She's busy." Was Kate's snipped reply, she stood up and counted the boxes silently, her face concentrated into that perfectly manicured scowl she and victoria share.

I just nodded and proceeded to make myself a drink.

"She's _busy_ huh? Now that is a surprise." I said nonchalantly.

"Pot and kettle Edward." Late replied smirking.

"Have you finished or do you intend to linger here like a bad smell?" I asked as politely as I could despite my patience slowly receding.

"Why the harsh words Edward?" she asked again matching my tone.

The thing with Kate is that she is a smart woman, she wins and she doesn't care how, like I said she was well suited to victoria.

"You should just be glad it was me that came for the stuff and not Marcus..." She said trailing of then she laughed a short sharp laugh, it scratched the insides of my ears.

_Marcus?_ My mind asked.

"Well I really must be going, Vicky needs this stuff, I thought it was best that I came now before you had chance to cut up her cloths, designers expensive after all and won't buy its self."  
>No I usually save it the job.<p>

She picked up the boxes and brushed past me her nostrils flaring as she did. Once at the door she paused turned to me and without the smirk leaving her face said "Strawberry, really edward?waste no time do you." Mocking barely covered her amusement, and then with one last sneer she slammed the door behind her. She must have smelt Bella's perfume. To be honest I didn't care.

I made my way back to the kitchen, but one thing remained on my mind.

_Who the fuck was Marcus?_

**Dub dum daaaaa!**  
><strong>Thankyou for reading, please review!x<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing. Thank you to everyone who has read this little story, reviewed it, added it to their lists.x**

Bella's pov.

I got into my apartment with the mind to question if I had really just gone on a date, a date! And if I wasn't really dreaming.

I felt happiness bubble up with in as if I had shaken a can, I was waiting to explode.

Things were looking brighter before the previous darkness really had chance to set in, and for that I was grateful.

Before I had chance to start daydreaming about Edward and his gorgeous green eyes and how yummy his bum looked in a suit the phone started to ring.

"I'm just loving it here Bella! Oh my gawwd it's so much fun, the people the clubs everything!" I listened dutifully into the phone as Alice described her recent escapades in New York.

I was genuinely happy that she was enjoying herself but that niggling feeling of loneliness found its way back into my stomach. I hadn t noticed it whilst I was with Edward.

She had told me all about her accommodation which was not big enough to "Swing a cat in." but she was near to the shops so that cancelled the small size of the room out.

"Oh god you will never guess who I bumped into Bella." She suddenly said.

"I couldn't possible guess." I giggled and twisted the cord of the phone.

"Jacob Black..." she said trailing off.

I kept silent my heart started to hammer uncomfortable in my chest, an invisible boot kicked me in the stomach. It was a sudden and unexpected blow.

"Bella? Are you still there?" Alice asked a little worriedly.

I took a deep breath "I'm here Alice just a little surprised is all." My voice sounded a bit shaky.

"I shouldn't have said anything, I'm so sorry Bella I wasn't thinking i-"

"Alice its fine, it was ages ago don't apologise." I cut her off my saying closing my eyes to dull the pain that's starting grow behind them.

"Bella are you sure you are ok?" she asked her tone serious; I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.

I let my hold on the phone loosen not realising how painfully tight I was holding it.

"Yes of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" my voice wasn t as convincing as would have liked.

Alice was silent for a moment only the background music could be heard, "It's just you know..." she trailed of her voice sad.

"Alice, really its ok. Well I've got to be going now. Speak to you soon!" I said as cheerfully as I could manage and hung up before she had a chance to rebuke me for my lie.

I put the phone down with shaking hands.

I felt an ice cold whoosh go through me that knocked me to the welcoming soft embrace of the sofa. I suddenly couldn't breathe, suppressed memories and feelings that I had buried just came to the surface.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, a little thing I do to calm down. It didn't work.

I went over mine and Alice's conversation in my head. I hadn't told her about Edward yet, I didn't want to chance fate I suppose. You see the thing with Alice is that if you give her just the smallest little bit of gossip concerning your love life she blows it out of control and starts thinking of the arrangements of the wedding breakfast!

Jacob black, now there's a name I hadn't heard, or wanted to hear for that matter, for quite a while. I didn't want to think of the boy with the brown eyes and infectious laugh. I didn't want to think of him because I had spent three years miserable thanks to those brown eyes and that laugh.

I was in love with Jacob Black.

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	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing. Sorry for the delay, crazy busy time lately. Just a quick note to say thank you for your continued interest in this teeny weeny little story. Hugs from me. xxx**

Bella's pov

I lay in bed for hours, sleep seemed to evade me, and the knot in my stomach did not ease no matter which way I lay. The small hours had pasted me by small ticking second by small ticking second, and still sleep wasn't mine.

I turned over and buried my head in my pillow not wanting to see the sun rise over my window sill.

I was too keyed up to sleep, too much was buzzing in my brain that old vague feeling in my chest wouldn't leave.

I tried to concentrate on the lulling scent of lavender that was saturated into the cotton of my pillows. It didn't work.

I wanted to scream and shout at Alice for mentioning him and more importantly I wanted to scream and shout at myself for reacting like this.

It's been three years! Why now?

It was like someone had opened a long sealed box and just let the contents spill out like some nightmare. An unwanted nightmare.

I pried myself away from my pitiful hiding place and glared at the clock. 5:30 glared right back at me in smug red numbers.  
>What can I do at 5:30? Sleeping is out of the question.<p>

I know what I want to do.

I want to call Edward.

I wanted to hear his voice to stop me from thinking. I wanted to imagine his smile and how his eyes slightly crease at the corners when he does. I wanted to stop every feeling and memories of Jacob Black before they consumed me completely and dragged me back into their dark cold arms.

I needed Edward.

And that fact alone confused me even more.

Without thinking my hand grabbed my phone and in a heat beat I was ringing Edwards number.

But what would I say exactly?

Oh hi Edward sorry to call at this ridiculous hour but I have just been reminded that my ex does actually exist and I'm afraid of how this is going to affect me. How are you?

Somehow that doesn't sound too great at 5:30 in the morning.

I didn t have to wait long.

"Bella?" came an alarmed voice.

I instently felt bad.

"Hi Edward I know it's early but-"

"Bella are you ok? What's happened?" his voice was slightly erratic.

"Shh Edward nothings really happened... I just needed someone to talk to..." ok now I really sound pathetic. I should have waited and called him later.

"You and me both." Came his exhausted voice. He didn't sound like he had slept either.

"Edward are you ok?" I asked worried.

Edward was a laid back kind of person but something bad has happened I know it. Call it a hunch.

"I've been better." He said letting out a breath.

"Want to talk about it?" I offered.

"Do you fancy going for a walk and early breakfast?" he asked.

I waited on the park bench for Edward to arrive.

Everything was still waiting to be woken up. It was peaceful and fresh somehow without the noise and moving about. I have never been here this early before and I can tell that I have been missing out.

My eyes surveyed the greenness for Edward, when I saw him walking towards me, his coat wrapped snuggly around his figure.

"Edward! "I shouted, his head snapped up, his pace quickened.

I rose from my seat and half walked half ran towards him.

I crashed into him and threw my arms around him for a much needed hug. His arms wrapped around me and squeezed me tight as if he needed this hug more than I did.

"Hi." I mumbled into the warm crook of his neck.

"Hi to you too." He replied taking a long deep breath in my hair.

We walked back to the bench.

"So you wanna talk about it?" he asked facing me a warming smiling on his lips, it didn't touch his eyes. Dark rings hung bellow his tired eyes.

"That would be nice, but you should go first. Edward, I can tell something is eating you up." I said taking in his conflicted features.

He ran a stressed hand through his already messy hair and let out a long sigh. Then leaning forward he started his story.

"After my initial shock I was just angry that she couldn't come to pick up her own stuff, I mean who does that? Send someone else?" he questioned eyebrows knitted firmly together in confusion.

I took hold of his hand and squeezed it, he offered a small thankful smile.

"Then when Kate was leaving she said 'at least it was me and not Marcus' who the hell is Marcus? I know what she was trying to do, she is a smart woman when it comes to throwing punches." His voice was more angry than upset.

It was obvious who this Marcus guy was. Had he realised that?

He was quest for a moment gripping my hand tighter. His head was bowed and his shoulders were slumped as if defeat.

"I think no... I'm positive that victoria was having an affair when we were still together."

I gasped not expecting that, I felt Edwards pain and anger seam through his hand and makes its way into my heart.

Edwards private life has nothing to do with me so I m not going to pry any of the details out of him, I have too much respect for him to do that. He can tell me when he is ready and I will listen.

I put my arm around his slouched form and leaned my head on his shoulder in a hope that this gesture tells him that he isn't alone and that I was here if he needed me.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"I've never been more sure about anything except... anyway enough of me, she isn't important any more. I'm not angry, just disappointed." He replied shaking his head.

Then very subtly he leaned into my embrace. He looked up at me a trace of a smile on his lips.

"So Miss Bella the agony aunt. What's you'r story?"

It was my turn to take a deep breath.

"Yesterday I got a call from Alice, she sounded like she was having a good time, she was telling me all about New York. I was happy for her but when she mentioned-"

Deep breath Bella, don't let yourself get wound up over nothing.

"She said she had bumped into my ex Jacob black."

A strong arm encircled my back and pulled me into a warmth I wasn't familiar with.

"It was three years ago... and it's hard to explain, I just wished it had stayed in the past. I couldn't sleep all night it was like my mind was a broken record going over everything from three years ago... Alice didn't mean to bring the skeletons out of the closet." That was all I could say. A lump in my throat was making it hard to speak.  
>It just felt wrong talking about Jacob with Edwards arms around me, even if I have only known him for a week.<p>

"It's ok Bella. Ex's are there to be a perpetual pain in the arse. But if you want my opinion this Jacob Black guy sounds like a dick." He said, I let out a giggle and he hugged me with his one arm tighter.

"Same goes for that victoria chick, she sounds like a bitch." I told him cringing. He laughed at that.

"Is that so, and why is that?" he asked looking down at me with fresh amused eyes.

Keeping my eyes ahead of me I replied "It's simple really. She let you go."

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